I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
