been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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