the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
