They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
