We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Randomize
