Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
