I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
