i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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