I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
