I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
