What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
