You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I see more hoeing in ur future
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