if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
