I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
