Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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