YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
