Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
