Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
