whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize