I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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