I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
