It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
