im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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