did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
