im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
