He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
