it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
