He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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