Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
