so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
