Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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