I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How does it feel to date your dad?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
there is glitter all over my balls
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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