this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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