So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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