What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
