someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
