Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
