I'm laying in your front yard are you home
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
