you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
did you just send me my own nude
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
