she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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