He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
