You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
