he wants to bone in the snuggie
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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