3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
