I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
it glows. i had to have it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
