HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize