I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
