my text book just quoted the cookie monster
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
