his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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