Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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