He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
