It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
