I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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