you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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