I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
