im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize