I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
