That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
