This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize