we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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