My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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