dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
