I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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