You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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